Losing a Loved One and Learning to Live Again – A Personal Experience-Part 4

Part 4 – Acceptance and Recovery

After losing a loved one, take the time to grieve but don’t make “that place” your forever domicile. When you take the steps to pull yourself out of your chasm of despair, you’ll move on to a full. Joyful life.

It takes a conscious effort to rise from the depths of your sorrow. Acknowledge that grief is a process that takes time. The amount of time depends on the individual.

My suggestions are:

1. Don’t be too proud. Accept help from family, friends, and neighbors. But have the mindset that you will not lean on them forever and you will be there for them when they need help.
2. Speak to a grief counselor or other professional. As the caregiver when my husband was under hospice, I had access to the grief counselor during his illness and for a specified period of time after he passed. I met with her twice.
3. Keep a journal. What you write is for your eyes only unless you choose to share it with someone else.
4. Get out and do something at least every three days—walk, dine with friends or family, volunteer, shop yard sales. Even if you don’t feel like going out, do it.
5. Take up an old hobby or a new one, or both.
6. Take a class on an activity or topic that interests you.
7. Surround yourself with things that make you happy. If on a tight budget, or not, shop yard sales. It gets you out and you might find inexpensive items that make you smile.
8. Volunteer. Be there for others. Yes, you are absorbed in dealing with your loss but other people are also going through difficulties. Sometimes helping others will get you through the grief process.
9. Share your grief with your fur baby. If you would be a good pet parent and don’t have one, consider adopting a new housemate. Be sure you can commit to being their forever home and take care of them for the rest of their days.

Once I worked through the shocking realization that I was a widow and had accepted it, my healing gained momentum.

During my healing process, I went to the nearby library to support an author friend who was presenting. My husband would have wanted me to go, not stay home grieving. My friend’s presentation motivated me to write again. I left with good ideas for my second novel but…for the ensuing three years, the only writing I did was in my journal.

My neighbor who helped us so much invited me to see Downton Abbey at the movie theater, though she had already seen it once. We went. She also invited me to a holiday dinner.

A long-time friend and neighbor had planned on D. and I coming over for holiday dinner, as was our custom. She has been a tremendous help in my recovery, keeping me busy, getting back into scrapbooking, being my BFF (Best Friend Forever). She was out of the country when he passed away. When did I tell her? I didn’t enter it in my journal.

After a few years, I returned to writing and editing, and am again watching Hallmark Christmas movies (something D. and I did every year).

My little “shrines” remain…pictures over the fireplace and the stacks of the last coins he piled on the corner of the breakfast bar— quarters, dimes, nickels, then pennies. They are moved only to clean, then slid back into place. I wear some of his clothes; the rest were donated to the homeless shelter.

Sadness and regret rear their heads from time to time, to a lesser extent, but it is to be expected. When I hear our song, I cry. When I see couples holding hands, it is bittersweet. On rare occasions, something unexpected can affect me.

I still miss D. and I am sure I always will, but now I smile instead of cry remembering him and our life together.

Despite it all, I have built a full, happy life, thanks to the caring and support of different people.

Be strong and know you too can make it.

You too can recover from the loss of a loved one.

You too can live again.

NOTE: None of this was written using AI. It all came out of my little brain, from my experience.

QUESTION 1: Have you suffered the loss of a loved one? What helped you to recover from it? Please share and help others.

QUESTION 2: Has this 4-part series helped you if you are grieving now or were?